Say What You Want

Ask any member of my immediate family, I used to cry every Christmas. Without fail Heidi always got what I wanted (we usually wanted the same things), and I always got something else. Even the year that I went shopping and picked out clothes with my mom- she wrapped them for Heidi. I was NEVER vocal about what I wanted because I always thought people should know what I wanted. Yes, I wanted people to be able to read my mind and I realize that this is the reason for my holiday unhappiness as a child. Since I've been dating Adam, I have witnessed the massive list making that happens on Thanksgiving. Everyone begins thinking about what they want and then distributes lists to the necessary people. Because of this, I knew exactly what Adam's mom wants- and its already been purchased. What does my own mother want? I don't know! I just asked her and she dissed my gift from last year. Adam and I got my parents a gift card to the Melting Pot thinking it would be fun dinner place for them to try. She just commented that she didn't want gift cards to any restaurants downtown because it is too busy of a year to go there. You've had it for a year, and now you're complaining that the timing isn't right?! Seriously? After having the most depressing conversation with my mom, I realized that all this time I have been mimicking my asking after her. She never tells you what she wants- maybe she will tell you one thing- but she also told everyone that one thing. I finally got it out of her that she wants a hooded sweatshirt (but she already told my sister) and she'd rather have an Applebees gift card than one to a good restaurant.

Lame.

Team Player

Self motivation baffles me. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. When it comes to work, I generally have it (the exception being my last post). But when it comes to running- I'm still in my quest to be a "runner"- I have a hard time pushing myself. I know what my body can handle and I stop when I get there. Since no one is there pushing me along, I don't push myself either. It's sort of a lose-lose situation. I think that is why I like team sports because having other people with me, I keep my goal. I'm not only fascinated with running, but also with triathlons. I'm watching an Ironman competition, its insane. I can't even believe that people can do it. My ultimate goal would be an Ironman, but for that to happen I would need to run a marathon and not die and be able to run in an less than 4 hours. I think I am going to stick with 5Ks.

Motivation

I don't feel like writing, but I also don't feel like working. Guess what wins?

It's Saturday and I am sitting at work but I can't get motivated to actually do anything. There was a media party on Thursday, and Adam's band played at Big V's. I knew it was going to be a long night and I had vacation days to use. The sad thing was that I took Friday off knowing that I was going to have to work this weekend. And I got hit in the head (mostly the eye) with a soccer ball on Wednesday, so I have been dealing with a throbbing head on top of any other self induced headaches... life is good.

I have spent a lot of time this week thinking about James Kim and his family. It just makes you realize how fast something can happen and that you don't really know how long you have with someone. Adam and I heard that the Kim family was missing last Saturday when we watched the Diggnation podcast. The hosts used to work with James and attached a message with the cast stating he was missing. I hadn't heard anything for a couple days then I was at the gym and heard they found his wife and daughters but he had not been found yet. It just tore me up- I don't know him, but the whole experience just got to me and makes me really heart broken. I wish the best for the Kim family.