Holy Crazy Batman.

These last two days are kicking my ass.

Yesterday, Adam got laid off from his job of 7 years.

Today, my director (also my immediate supervisor) resigned.

It's only Tuesday. WTF.

We're going to be fine in regards of going from DINK to SINK (double income no kids to single income no kids). We did it two years ago and we know we can do it again with some cutbacks. This is Adam's chance to find a job he loves. He knows exactly what he wants to do, now he just needs to go do it. Obviously not the ideal situation, but I know it will work out in the end. And seriously, getting laid off in the summer is pretty freakin' amazing. I sort of think everyone deserves to have a couple months off every 5 or so years to rejuvenate. Naturally, some sort of sabbatical would be a better option, but unemployment works too. Anyway, we're very optimistic about the future.

Today sucked. The news dropped in the morning, right before a company meeting. I was blindsided. I semi-thought something was up, but pushed it out of mind since I didn't want it to happen or think about it. Last week another director of mine left the company and these two directors are the people I work with ALL THE TIME. I'm a team of one, but they were my superiors that I talked my projects through. The people that really know what I do and while I worked predominately alone, I knew I had both of them for support when I needed it. Losing one was enough, but both is just too much for me. I started crying immediately- in front of my department and the president of the company, and for the most part haven't stopped all day. I had an immediate feeling of abandonment. Working alone is the least favorite thing about my job, so having my two directors leave, it felt like I was orphaned. Left alone to fend for myself. At 10am this morning, that was WAY too much for me. I spent most of the day trying to navigate what all the changes mean and while it feels like a lot now, I know things will be ok. As I keep thinking about the news, it's still bringing me to tears. I'm hoping by tomorrow I'll have some more composure and can get through the day. My emotions are running wild and I can't even properly convey them and it's hard for others to understand what I'm going through. For most of my co-workers, nothing will really change for them. They have teams to rely on, right now, I have no one. I already feel like an island in my department, today I became an orphaned island.

I know things will get better, with time, they always do. But for only being Tuesday, this has been an incredibly long week.

I'm off to Chicago tomorrow to visit some friends and Lollapalooza myself. Hopefully skipping town will help me deal with all of this.

Staying Busy.

I prefer to stay busy, because if I don't, I end up doing absolutely NOTHING. That was this weekend. I'm semi-ashamed to even admit it, but that's what I wanted this weekend to be. After a week of rehearsals prepping for performances and then 3 nights of performances, I needed a nice week off. I'm also positive that Adam and I will never be on the same "energy" schedule. When I'm awake and want to go out, he doesn't. When he does, I don't. Adam's car was acting up last week so I biked into work on Friday so he could use my car. I enjoy the ride in, however on Friday, my knee started to hurt and feel achy once I got to work. Needless to say, that made the return trip home less than ideal and of course just wore me out. Adam wanted to go to down to Lake Calhoun, walk around and get a beer, but I just wasn't feeling it. We settled on take-out and movie night on the couch. Which was exactly what I wanted and needed. That was pretty much our routine for the rest of the weekend. Movies, naps, take-out. It was nice and relaxing, but I always feel a little guilty about not doing ANYTHING. But at the same time our MN summer has kept me in hibernation mode, preferring the air conditioning to the triple digit heat indices. Yes, I'm trying to make myself feel better about a super lazy weekend that consisted on multiple-per day naps. Of course, I woke up around 3am this morning and couldn't fall back asleep until sometime after 5, so instead of feeling rested and revived, I'm itching for more sleep.

The other reason that I was OK with not doing anything this weekend is that I'm heading to Chicago for Lollapalooza. I know I'm going to need my energy for 3 days of music. It's been a while since I've been to an all-day musical festival, let alone 3 days of music. I'm hoping that I can comfortably handle the crowds and my knee (which is still sore) can handle all the standing. I think the fact that I'm more worried about crowds and my body indicates that I am for sure getting old. My 16 year old self would be worried about how to catch 2 bands playing back to back on different stages. I know I just need to relax and enjoy my time visiting friends and one of my favorite cities.

Lastly, I'm started to get worried about the duathlon and half marathon I've signed up for. I'm 28 days away from the duathlon and my knee has been too sore to train much, and the weather has been less than ideal for long bike rides or outdoor running. I'm letting my knee call the shots these days, so if I can't do it, I can't do it. I want to. I love the idea of a duathlon, but not if my body is going to be hating me every step of the way. My heart was in the race last year when I signed up (and was healthy). But this year, after deferring my entry to this year and a year of recovery, I'm not so excited about it. I'll keep trying but I'm okay if I have to throw in the towel on this race. Sadly, I know that if my knee won't let me do a duathlon, then a half is certainly out. But again, I'll call that as it gets closer. It was this time last year that I started running again, so maybe everything will work out after all. Maybe?