In tweleve hours...

...I will be married. Right now, I can not sleep. I'm not worried about a lot of things for tomorrow, but there are a few that keep coming back.

My brother for starters. He had some lovely things to say to me at the rehearsal dinner. I asked if he wanted a ride to the church and he flipped out telling me that he was a "big boy" and could take care of himself. I would like to think that is the case, but since he usually asks for a ride and has a tendency to need assistance from others, it didn't seem like a normal Shawn statement. He also thanked me for scheduling up his whole day. Shawn, if my wedding is that much of an inconvenience to you, then just stay home. My dad made a short toast at dinner and said "and now Shawn finally has a brother." Shawn felt the need to say, yes, that's great, but if I had to pick it wouldn't be Adam or something along those lines. It was really heart felt in a way only my brother could ruin a moment.

In the same realm of my brother, we never "rehearsed" the receiving line, in fact we never discussed it. I wrote it in my schedule of the days events, but we didn't discuss the logistics and how it will happen when the time comes. My brother (hopefully) will be the one that goes back into the church to dismiss everyone and then we will be in the "lobby" area. I'm pretty sure we will need Wade to bring is car around so when we come out of the church it will be there for us with prime photographic opportunity. Hopefully this can all get conveyed to everyone and it works out.

I am sort of excited about my church entrance. Everyone walks in and then the doors close as I wait outside. Then my two best friends will open the doors for my grand entrance. I'm getting pretty jazzed for that. I will be with my dad and the last two people I will see before heading in are my friends so I hope it will be very calming.

I dropped off some stuff at the reception site tonight so I got to see it all decorated, it really looks nice. I'm very excited to see it all completed tomorrow. What can I say, I'm a sucker for white twinkly lights!

This whole experience feels so surreal. I was never one to sit and fantasize about my wedding day, I always assumed I would get married, but never really thought about how it was going to happen. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that my mom let us play dress up in her wedding dress when we were kids. Not lying- she hemmed it for us so it fit us when we were 5 or so. I also wore it for Halloween when I was 15. Needless to say I never really thought how my own wedding would go. For the past 6 years I knew I was going to marry Adam and that I wanted it to be in Spring, but that was it. I have those two elements and the rest sort of just fell into place. Now I think I just need the weather to cooperate with me today. Here's hoping for partly cloudy and no rain.

Just a hint of nerves

Five days. F-I-V-E days until I get married. I'm just trying to feel confident with all the decisions that we've made and not get nervous for anything that is left. I'm sure we'll be okay, it's just hard to think about how much planning has gone into one day. So much unneeded stress for one day. The one thing going for us is the fact that neither Adam or I have cold feet, just stress. I have this week off of work, I'm pretty sure it is going to fly by, but hopefully it doesn't so I can find some time to relax and get everything done.

I just have this overall nervous feeling that's freaking me out a bit. Perhaps its the fact that I keep thinking about the things I need to do, yet have yet to act on them. I look at the vacuum, but I haven't put it to use yet.

Deep breathes, deep breathes.

Reaching the finish line

14 days until Hawaii.

12 days until the wedding.

4 more days of work until I am on vacation.

Things left to do for the wedding... I have no idea.

I can't wait for the wedding to actually take place and for my life to return to normal, or at least some form of normalcy. Soon... soon.

F-RSVP

Is it seriously that hard to write your name on a card, check a box and drop said card into a mailbox? I do NOT care what the reason is, I want to know, am I buying you dinner? When a card is labeled, RSVP, it means Respondez S'il Vous Plait, aka, please respond. Key word- RESPONSE! It amazes me that people don't think they need to do it, or that it doesn't matter. It actually is quite imperative since it dictates how many people we order dinner for. I understand that a few people will also say yes and then not show up, that seems to be a common occurance and we will deal with that when we get there. In the meantime, I just want the last 12 people to fucking RSVP. Argh.

Semi-Worried

My continual life time line is as follows:

2 more classes until I have completed my second semester of grad school. If all goes according to plan, I will be done with all assignments by the 8th.

3 more weeks of work until I am on vacation! I keep forgetting that I will be off for 3 weeks starting the 26th.

26 days until I get married. Twenty-Six. That is starting to sound a little scary. The nerves are certainly setting in. I'm not nervous about making the commitment to Adam, but making sure we have everything done and all decisions are made. Adam has this issue where he can't make decisions, so I'm beginning to think that there are a lot of looming things out there that we've talked about to death, but never came to a conclusion. I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of those will be creeping up the next few weeks. At this point, I'm just making decisions and telling him later, it's really the best way to go about this. I like that Adam wants to be involved, but at the same time, if you're not going to have an opinion, don't bother. On the upside, I got an insane amount of sleep this weekend and after pulling a couple all-nighters last week, feel rested and relaxed. And to top it off, the weather actually feels like Spring!!

Drained

This has been a long week. I just finished a paper for one of my classes. I'm excited to actually be able to enjoy a weekend! Next week I only have one ten minute solo presentation (powerpoint optional) and a thirty minute group presentation with 5 people! That equates to about five minutes to actual "presenting" time and we're already done. This is very exciting for me. I have ONE WEEK left of classes. Since I was able to get my paper done today, I should be able to turn my final assignment in by Wednesday of next week and then present with my group Thursday and be DONE. Well, not done for good done, but done with this semester!

Official Countdown:
Classes 1 week
Work time pre-wedding 3 weeks
Wedding 29 days!

I really hope we are not missing anything major for the wedding. As I was telling someone earlier today, we're missing anything that I do not know of yet. I believe everything that I'm aware of is completed or at least on route to completion. At this point I'm sick of planning and am just looking forward to the day and of course Hawaii.

Time for sleep.