Moods.

I know I'm a moody person and I should not judge others when they get moody, but when I work all day (missing three buses just to get there), go to class (to the class that never ends and with 5 minutes left of out last lecture of the semester the teacher wants to bring up a new point to pontificate on) and then come home to write a paper, I don't have much sympathy. Yeah, yeah, it's all about me. I have such a hard life because I chose to go to grad school. I semi-wonder if two years ago when I was applying to the program if I flashed forward to now if I would still mail my application. When I was working on my application I was also getting super antsy (and emotional) for Adam to purpose. I'm sure I was using the application to take my mind off the fact that I wanted to get married. I was also getting upset because I told Adam that I wanted to go to grad school, but did NOT want to plan a wedding at the same time. Of course, 2 weeks after we got engaged, I got accepted into grad school. I knew the program was only two years and I didn't even think about postponing my acceptance (or my wedding) a year so I wouldn't have to deal with both at the same time. Once I made it through the first year of the program (while planning a wedding) I assumed the second year would be no problem. HA. HA. HA. The second year is so much worse. Not only are you sick of at least a couple people within the program, you're so antsy just to be done. Now that I'm this close and the end is literally in sight, I'm in shock. A day that I have been looking forward to since last September is now only 9 days away. I will defend my paper in 49 days. And then, I will have a life again. What an amazing feeling. I don't think I ever want to voluntarily be this busy again. Wait, it's not that I don't want to be busy, I don't want to have to think about so many things all at once. I have a headache right now just thinking about all the things I need to think about.

Deep breathe.

Almost done.

Just need to power through this LAST paper of the semester and stop blogging because that is only a distraction.

(The event that started this post was Adam whining about taking out the garbage... I never got to it because I realize I've been waaaaay to selfish lately and he can be in a bad mood too. Just because I'm in school doesn't mean I'm entitled to being moody and he isn't. But I've actually been in a decent mood considering I'm on page 5 of a 20 page paper that I want to be done with by Thursday...)

Homework Weekend

How sad does this weekend sound?

Friday Night- at home working on a study guide for my final next week. It is the world's worst study guide as terms can be found in: handouts, a course packet, notes, emailed handouts. Somethings can be buried in a reading and never actually talked about in class. It took me 4 hours to find 9 terms! Thankfully 3 other girls and I split up the 36 terms in all otherwise I would have never been done!!

Saturday- Go to weight watchers meeting at 8am. I have currently lost 10% of my starting weight and am only 6 pounds away from my final goal. I am hoping to get there by graduation, but am not entirely sure that will happen- but I'm going to try!! I spent the rest of the day researching a paper I have to write and finally at 11pm I gave up and watched a movie with Adam (the only time we have really spent together all weekend).

Sunday- Rainy Sunday! I set my alarm early with intentions of running, but the rain dissuaded me and I hit snooze. Then I went to meet the aforementioned study group to exchange terms. Went grocery shopping for the first time since before Easter, and then worked on paper again until now.

How I have spent the weekend is not exactly pleasurable, but I'm happy I was able to devote so much time to school stuff. With only 4 classes left to go (2 this week and 2 next), I'm trying not to get too stressed out and get as much done as I can. My paper is not due until the 7th, but I have to present my project to the class this week. I think knowing that I have that much more time to actually finish the paper is helping me stay calm. Of course I want to get it done before I present, but I'm fairly certain that's not going to happen. But, I have actually started the paper which is way earlier than I have ever started a paper before. While I don't like being a "last minute" person, I can stay focused longer when I actually have to...

This might be the most boring "update" of a post ever, but that's okay because in two weeks, I will be donning my cap and gown and walking across the stage of Northrup Auditorium!

2 weeks to go!

I've been insanely busy the last couple of weeks. My uncle Terry passed away after the Twins home opener on April 6th. He was a huge twins fan, so I was only fitting that he would want to wait until after the game was over. My family was looking to me to help out with a lot of things for the service, which I was happy to help with everything. But, with school and work, it took a toll on me and my time. Last week, I was beyond busy at work, but it also reminded me why I like advertising. I really like the rush of finishing a project and seeing all the pieces come together. Of course, in this economy, and layoffs abounding in advertising, I'm more than thankful to have a job and a job that I really like. About 18 people were laid off from my company this week, ugh. It's never fun to see your friends and co-workers go.

Last weekend I road tripped with 2 friends to Tecumseh, Michigan. We stayed with my friend Katie's family and got to see all the wonderful sites of Tecumseh, Saline and Ann Arbor. Driving through Chicago on the way there and back just made me want to go to Chicago. I don't know what it is, but I am just drawn to that city. I am hoping that I can make it to NYC and Chicago this summer. I have a trip planned to go to Vegas in June to celebrate my graduation and our one year anniversary. It just feels like so many things are going on I can't even keep track anymore.

The best news is in 2 weeks, I will be walking across the stage of Northrup Auditorium for the 3rd time. My high school graduation was also held at the U of M, so the only place I have ever donned a cap, gown and tassel has been Northrup. Of course, I still have to finish my major paper to "officially" graduate, but I will be done with classes in 2 weeks! Quite exciting!!

I really don't know where the month of April went, it really flew by. I'm hoping that once graduation is over I can keep myself motivated to get my paper done quickly. I have a feeling I'm going to utilize my free time with a whole lot of sitting and not thinking... actually... I'm going to be spending a lot of time running since I signed up to run the Twin Cities Marathon in October! 3 years ago, I ran my first 5K the weekend of the Marathon (they have a lot of shorter, family friendly races the day before the marathon and then a 10 Mile race at the same time as the marathon). At the time I thought, wouldn't it be cool to run, but I never really thought I would commit to it. This is a complete test of my endurance and ability. At the end of the day, I want to say I ran a marathon-- or at least tried. If I don't finish, I don't finish... but I'm going to do as best as I can. I also signed up for the Urban Wildland 1/2 marathon in my hometown of Richfield, so that should be fun and hopefully give me a good idea of how the marathon will go. If nothing else, I should end up being in the best shape of my life.

Feeling exhausted.

I was talking with one of my really good friends yesterday about all the prep that I needed to get done for the funeral at the end of the week and she made a comment that she didn't know how I did it all. You know what, I have no idea how I keep running and running and literally running. I feel like I'm an all or nothing sort of person. Either I'm doing something non stop, or I'm doing absolutely nothing. There really isn't an in between with me. The past few weeks, I have been getting up early to work out in the morning. If I don't do it in the morning, I rarely get to it later. Thankfully my morning workouts help keep me sane and I don't get as stressed out during the work day as much. But of course, me staying up late to watch Jimmy Fallon, finish work, or do homework takes a toll on my sleep time, so I need to work on that one... I've also been monitoring my food intake pretty rigidly as I'm still doing weight watchers, so that's just another thing to keep me occupied. Perhaps the fact that I'm 30 days away from classes being over just makes it so that much harder to get through the final push of work that I have to do. I have a research paper that I need to research and write, but I feel like I'm running out of time on it. I'm sure once I sit down and do it, it will come together, but I just need to sit down long enough to focus on it. Yesterday was just an emotionally draining day. My mom called me in the morning to let me know about Terry and then the news just sunk in as the day progressed. If I kept my mind occupied, I was okay, but as soon as I was left alone with my own thoughts, I wanted to cry. So, then I would spend all my energy trying to focus on what I was trying to do, yet failing miserably. Now I'm just rambling about anything that is coming into my head... wonderful blog post.

On a completely random note, we just found out a 4th girl in my grad school class is pregnant! One had a baby last summer, not two are due this summer and one in the fall. Now the question is, who's next. For some reason, they keep throwing me out as the next one. I would like to take this opportunity to say that that it will NOT be me. I am very much looking forward to having a life again, and not having kids until I'm 30... maybe earlier, but certainly NOT while I'm still 26. Geez.

Goodbye.

Terry M. Keating. January 15, 1950- April 6, 2009.



Goodbye Uncle Terry. You will be missed.

I have the urge to...

Shop. I don't know if it is the season change, or the fact that my clothes are fitting better, but I just want to shop! Of course, it is the season when nothing is actually on sale, anything that is on clearance is pretty lame and not spring like at all. I also have a new fascination of just trying clothes on but not buying anything. It has become a challenge-- go to the store, grab a couple of sizes and see what fits. Of course, I feel like this is a challenge I keep winning, so therefore I keep going. I'm trying not to spend money, because I don't need very much-- I just want things.

32 days until graduation...

Holding Pattern.

There's nothing worse than just waiting for a call... the call. The hospice my Uncle is living at told us this week, that the end for him is near, they estimate he will pass by the end of the week. It's hard to continue with the rest of the week and wonder, when? We did a prayer service for him on Tuesday. It was so nice to be surrounded by family and all get a chance to be with him and begin our goodbyes. I find that I am reaching out to call my mom more just to see if anything has changed and what the latest status is. This also feels counter productive as I know she will call as soon as she has news. Its just an emotionally draining time.

Too add to that, its been a week of midterms. I had a presentation on Tuesday and a midterm tonight. Hopefully I will remember all the content that I need to.. it's hard to work all day and then switch gears for a test without any transition time in between.

36 days left till graduation. That honestly can't come faster. Once I'm done with the test tonight, I have a big paper to do and one final left, both happening the first week in May. It seems manageable but also means I need to maintain motivated to work on my paper throughout the next month and not rush at the end. But that's the story of my life.

My head is all over the place today, I can't focus on this anymore...