Decade in Review.

Taking a cue from others friend's blogs... I'm going to wrap up some highs and lows of the past decade.

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school trying to decide my future. Where to go to college, who had the best program for physical therapy. Yes, ten years ago, I was confident I wanted to be a physical therapist. I was going to help people, not advertise to them.

But in the past ten years, I..

I graduated high school. I became a cheerleader. I lost my grandma. I changed majors. I went to Europe. I changed schools. I met Adam. I added a second major. I graduated college. I got a job in advertising. I bought a house. I lost another grandma. I got promoted. I lost 2 aunts. I got engaged. I started grad school. I married my best friend. I lost my great aunt. I got a new job. I lost my grandma-in-law and my uncle. I got laid off. I got my masters. I had the best summer ever. I got a job. I ran a marathon.

This past decade had a lot of funerals for me with family I was very close with and some not as close, but because of some of the losses, I got to get to know some family again. My mom is from a big family and a lot of them grew apart over the years, or at least my family did. When my grandma passed away, it was a catalyst that brought me closer to my aunts and uncles again. A few have already left us... much quicker than they should have. But I'm thankful for having had the opportunity to re-get to know them and thankful that I took the time when I could. Not everything in life can wait. Some things need to happen whether the timing is perfect or not.

In the past ten years, I have spent seven of them going to school. I got three degrees in that time and went to 4 schools: 1 high school and 3 colleges (Mankato, St. Marys in England and the U of M).

A lot changes from 17 to 27. I can't even imagine what will change from 27 to 37....

Chillaxing.

I did it. I cut my hair. So far, no regrets.

Straight.


Curled. (photos taken on different days, but I'm wearing the same shirt...)

I was thinking that shorter hair would be easier to manage, but I have to do more to it to get it to look how I want it to, so not exactly. But it takes me less time than long hair, so that worked out. Of course, the first thing Adam said to me when I walked in the house was "its too short". Not exactly the first words one wants to hear when you've just changed your appearance. Of course, Adam prefers my hair long and blond. I've compromised and kept the highlights but just needed a change. I do sort of miss the ease of putting my hair up in a ponytail as now I'm resorted to pigtails and a few bobby pins to make it happen. But I'm learning to deal with that.

So, unlike everyone else, I don't have any Christmas photos because I got sick on Christmas eve/Christmas day. I have a feeling it was something I ate, but if it wasn't, it was only a 24 hour stomach bug. Its been a long time since I've felt that awful and I hope its a long time before I feel like that again. Naturally one of Adam's aunts asked if I had morning sickness. NO. Just a stomach bug. We've officially been married long enough so that everyone jumps to that conclusion anytime I say I don't feel well or don't feel like drinking. For the record- no pregnancy here.

Adam and I have both been off of work for a week now- its so nice to just relax! Of course when we don't have a schedule of things to do, we tend to not do anything. But I'm not complaining. I've started to forget that people are working this week since I'm so out of the loop spending so much time with just Adam.

Hope you had a good Holiday and are getting your resolutions ready...

Wandering Mind.

I'm having a horrible time focusing right now. Anything and everything is distracting to me right now. I think it stems from two things- 1. I haven't worked out much this week, so I haven't had a chance to clear my mind and 2. I keep thinking how busy the next 5+ days will be...

To do list

Today: work, meet a friend for HH, then probably some more work, clean house, laundry
Friday: work 1/2 day, try to meet my sister when she gets into town, department holiday party, meet out of town friends for a drink around 9
Saturday: Hair cut, donate blood, family bowling, family lunch (all before 2pm)
Sunday: Maternal In-laws Christmas
Monday: No work but meet out of town friends for lunch and other friends for Happy hour.
Tuesday: No work and no plans, so probably grocery store and finish Christmas shopping.
Wednesday: No work, but we're having another set of out of town friends over for dinner so I'll probably spend most of the day cooking and cleaning. I'm going to attempt some new and complicated recipes for this...
Thursday: My family Christmas
Friday: Paternal in-laws Christmas
Saturday- Sunday: No work, so relax and recover. Actually, Adam and I have some house projects we want to attempt- we'll see what happens. We've had a list going for about 4 years of things we want to do and have done very little of it.

I have about 24 hours left to work before I'm off for two weeks. I'm realizing that my time off won't be as relaxing as I originally anticipated, but I'm looking forward to a couple days to myself to get things done as well as challenging myself with some new recipes. My dad (the cook in my family) always makes sweet and sour chicken for our Christmas dinner. This year, he was going to try something else, so I thought I should try to make it for when our friends come over. It's one thing to watch/help someone make something, its certainly going to be different for me to do it all myself. Of course, I'm not going to stop there, I also want to make cream cheese wontons, egg rolls and spring rolls (all from scratch, not pre-made varieties). The only thing I've made before are the wontons and spring rolls. This is an excessive amount of food for 4 people, but I intend to bring the left overs to my parents house the next day for our Asian themed Christmas potluck.

I'm pretty sure I have the only Scandinavian/western European descended family that opts for a home-cooked, Asian-food family meal. You won't see any jello salad at our family gatherings...

The other thing on my mind- I'm thinking about cutting my hair. I've had it fairly long for about 3 years, which is a very long time for me. I don't know what I want to do, but I just might let my stylist go to town and do whatever she wants. I'm open to suggestions if any of the 3 people who read this have any. :)

Happy Thursday.

Relaxing Coffee Morning.

There is something to be said about starting the day with coffee and good conversation. Albeit, "starting" my day at 11 am, is a rather late start, but I'm not complaining. A large cup of coffee and a couple hours of conversation are exactly what I needed today.

I love how coffee can bring people together. Its the perfect beverage to force you to stop and just reflect.

Thank you coffee for being the catalyst for me to stop, relax, and catch up with a friend.

From an "I" to a "We".

This summer when I was spending the majority of my time alone, I really began to appreciate what it is like to have alone time. I spend so much of my time with other people that I forget to take time just for myself. I've had a busy week this week, but wanted to make sure I went to the Walker to see the annual British Television Ad Awards show. They show them for about a month, during the busiest month of the year- December. I've learned in the past that I just need to get a ticket and go early just so I ensure that I actually make it to the show. So I booked one ticket for last night knowing that the the museum is free Thursday nights and I would have some time to walk around. I was looking forward to some relaxing alone time with art and advertising. I could have asked others to go with me, but I made a conscious choice not to. It was going to be my night.

Apparently when one is married/coupled up, this is an odd concept. Adam didn't understand that I was content going alone and told me he would come with me. I decided that it could be a fun date and bought a second ticket for him.

My original plan was:
Grab some dinner downtown, get to the walker around 6:30 to walk around and then go to the show at 8pm.

This is what happened:
Adam and I planned to meet in Uptown for dinner at 6. We both got there at 6:30. We got to the Walker around 7:25, leaving us with a couple minutes to wait in line before the theater opened for the 8pm show. No relaxing and no art was involved. Normally, this would have not bothered me, but I just kept thinking about my relaxing alone time and got frustrated how the night unfolded.

I made a comment to Adam that I want to try to come back next Thursday to see the galleries and he said that we should. I have no idea how to tell him that I just might want to go alone...

Quotes from my house

"Can you take the garbage out? You still have pants on." Pause. "Nevermind, it's not garbage day yet."

I love that our household duties are getting divided based on who is ready to leave the house or not, or in this case, who has pants on.

Car vs. Bus

I was listening to MPR this morning on my drive into work, like I do every morning. This is one of the perks of having a car again- MPR. Its one of the only places I get my news, or the opportunity to listen to interesting discussion. The topic du jour?

How Minnesotans love their cars.

Ouch.

The original topic was in reference to President Obama heading to Copenhagen next week to discuss cutting back on emissions. Of course that spawned the questions of "how will we cut back on emissions?" They said for Minnesotans specifically, they love their cars, and it will be hard to make lifestyle adjustments to meet the new requirements (ie. Carpooling, alternate transportation, etc). I started working downtown 4 years ago and as soon as I got my job, I knew I would take the bus, it was the most obvious choice. I live on a bus line, I work on a bus line, I'll take the bus to work. For a year, I did it without complaint or much issues, then one day, I had to drive. It was amazing. It cut my 45 minute commute to 15 minutes both ways. Driving to work could save me an hour a day? This seemed to good to be true. I traded in my bus pass for a parking pass, then my car broke and I didn't fix it for 6 months, so I was back on the bus. My car worked for a month before it broke beyond repair, and so back to the bus I went. No car = bike or bus. For another 2.5 years, I took the bus. To work, to school and then back home. When I came back to CL this summer, I figured I would take the bus again. That lasted 2 weeks...

If I had a job with set, standard hours, I would take the bus without any issues. I have a job where I show at the same time everyday and leave when I'm done- that's the fluctuating point. And the frustrating point. I've fallen in love with the freedom a car has to offer. I can run errands after work, I can leave when I'm ready, not when the bus is ready. I don't know how I'll cut back on my emissions, perhaps biking to work in the summer? Of course that hinges on the purchase of a new bike...

I would like to think I'm not at fault for global warming and do my part to cut back. But I'm not. I love my car and I'm not ready to give it back yet.

Deal with it.

"I'm making dinner"

Adam's had limited cooking experience and when he does venture into the kitchen, I generally get a call (or six) to walk him through the steps. Tonight, I was just getting ready to leave the gym when he called to tell me he was heading to the store to pick up ingredients for a grilled cheese recipe he found. What? My husband is finding recipes and going to make dinner? Awesome!

Call #1: Adam calling me to tell me he's making dinner

Call #2: Me telling him I'm on my way home

Call #3: Adam calling to ask how much cheese I want on my sandwich

Call #4: (about 2 minutes after call #3) Adam calling to ask if he should spray the pan with non stick spray. At this point I informed him I was a block from home and he should not call anymore.

I walked into the house and it smelled really good. Adam emerged from the kitchen and said, "I burned my hand and the oven broke." (I wish I was kidding).

I didn't even know how to respond to that. Somehow the screw holding the oven handle to the oven broke off, so the oven handle is now only half attached. So, while he was trying to open the oven sans handle he burned his hand (not seriously).

The good news- it was amazing grilled cheese! Here's the quick recipe summary: assemble grilled cheese as usual (buttered bread and cheese in the middle), sprinkle parmesan cheese on each buttered side of the sandwich, cook in oven for 8 minutes at 400 degrees, flip and continue cooking for 6 more minutes. It is a nice crispy grilled cheese that's quite perfect. Adam made them with cheddar, but I have a feeling they'd be great with swiss. I think we'll try to make them again, but perhaps together.

Is it a bad thing?

I saw this article last week, but I haven't had time to write about it... the quick recap of the article is that students at the University of Lincoln that have a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 30 or higher have to take a fitness class. If a student is assigned to the class and does not pass, they may not be able to graduate. A BMI of 18-25 is considered "healthy." Of course, some students are upset about this rule as they went to college to learn, not be judged. I think I would have actually liked this rule when I was in college. I would have liked to learn good eating habits and had time with a personal trainer. I spent the first couple years of college maintaining fairly good eating habits, but my last few years of college, I fell off the wagon (and started dating Adam...). Perhaps if I would have had this rule, I would have started to take my health and fitness more seriously in college instead of 5 years after college. I also think it is important to know healthy eating and exercise habits. When and where are we supposed to learn these? To me, college seems like as good of place as any.

I do understand that BMI is not the most accurate way of determining health and wellness, but it can give a ballpark of where we stand...

Calculate your BMI here, would you be able to graduate?

Rejuvenated?

Because it was a short work week, and I was sick at the beginning of the week, I unexpectedly got nearly a week off of work. I should be more relaxed and rejuvenated than I feel right now.

All I've done this weekend is sleep, and all I want to do right now is sleep.

I'm hoping my cold is just a cold and nothing more...

23 days ago, I listed out the following as my November goals:

1. Get started on this: http://www.nanowrimo.org/
2. Join a gym
3. Get on some sort of schedule
4. Read a few books
5. Relax

I did get started on #1 and worked at it for a few weeks, but fell behind and was on track to catch up and just fell behind again. After a long day of work I just need to relax when I get home. Creative writing isn't the most challenging, but my head still needs a rest. So, I'm officially calling it a day on novel writing in a month. But, I do intend to keep writing what I started and maybe spend some more time outlining what's going to happen and try to piece together the things I've already written. I'm just not going to stress myself out over trying to finish something that I started on a whim. I'm trying to be realistic about how much time I actually have these days.

2. I did and have been going- yeah!
3. I don't know what I was going for with getting on a schedule, I'm pretty sure it relates back to #2. I'm working on this one. I've been resetting my alarm more often that I should be, that's for sure. (ie. Not getting up and going to the gym pre-work like I want to).
4. I should finish reading my 3rd book this weekend, so this one is good to go.
5. I've been doing better about not running myself too ragged, but somehow I still ended up with a cold.

I woke up on Monday with a sore throat and a bit of a headache, by Tuesday my head was completely congested and I just felt awful so I stayed home from work. Today, I was feeling better, but still not awesome. I already had a vacation day planned, so it was nice to get to spend one more day recovering instead of rushing back to life. I'm running a 10K in the morning, so hopefully I feel good for that. I'm hoping a good night sleep will give me the strength I need to run. This cold has zapped the energy right out of me. But, I have a feeling running might make me feel better, or at least wake my body up. I'm also going to see how the 10K goes before signing up for all the races I want to do. Once I list them all it, it really seems extreme. I've also been thinking more about doing another marathon. I want to do another one, but I realize, that it isn't the only thing I want to do, so I might hold off on that for now until I find a way to balance exercise into my life without it taking over. I tend to be really sporadic with exercise, so I'm working on my consistency (hence the gym membership and attempt at a schedule). Consistency will help out tremendously during my training and all the races I want to do. But I know that I can't over extend myself and push myself too hard to these things. I want to make sure I stay healthy and injury free. I guess for the rest of this year, I'm working on balance: balancing, time for myself, work time, Adam time and friend time. Since it is the holiday season, I should include family time too.

Time to Think

After an insane few weeks of being constantly busy, I find myself in a lull. I'm thinking of it as the calm before the storm. I know this is short lived and I suppose a chance to get revived before another few weeks of mass chaos. But, I don't like it. I like having a to-do list with things that I can check off and forcing myself to move to the next project because I have 5 things to get done in one day and they all need to get done. Instead, I don't have that... and my mind wanders. Today's wandering subject matter: Races. How much money is too much money to spend on race entrance fees? I already have a list of 1/2 marathons that I'm thinking about for 2010, but now I'm thinking about a couple more races.

Here is what I'm thinking:
1. Polar dash 10 K on New Years Day
2. Winter Carnival 1/2 Marathon on Jan 23
3. Mpls 1/2 marathon on June 6th (already registered for that)
4. Red, White and Boom 1/2 marathon July 4th (inaugural race from the people who bring us the TC marathon)
5. Urban Wildland 1/2 marathon on August 7th
6. A Breath of Hope 5K September TBD
7. Monster Dash 10 Mile or 1/2 Marathon October 30th
8. NYC Marathon Nov 7 2010-- This is a big maybe.
9. Drumstick Dash 10K- Thanksgiving Day

Most of the races are at minimum $30, NYC marathon is $185! Of course, there's no guarantee on that either. Its a lottery system, so they don't charge you until you get into the race, but that's just running the race, that doesn't include all the travel time (plus NYC spending money) to get there. It would be nice sometimes if I didn't get such grandiose ideas in my head. The more I think about the NYC marathon, the more I realize that its probably not the best financial investment, and its getting to be a large enough expense that I probably need to consult with my husband on (in which case, he will probably disagree with the large sums of money that I want to spend, just to run through the 5 boroughs of NY). Of course, this makes the Chicago marathon seem that much more appealing... We could drive there to save money on travel costs... Or I just stop thinking about running marathons and stick to halves that are located in the city I live in. The good thing about most of the races, they are for a charitable organization, so at least I'm running for a cause, but I still don't think that justifies all the money I spend on this new found hobby. I'm also getting a gut feeling that its not good to over-extend myself to so many things. I think we all know that our gut tends to be right...

Is time standing still?

Maybe its because I don't have 1,000 things to do, juggling work, school and some semblance at a personal life that its starting to feel like time is going slower. I can't say the month of November has been the most enjoyable, I've spent more time at work than I want to think about, but overall time is moving slowly. Its nice. I like getting to live in the moment and enjoy life as it comes instead of having to push everything aside and hope I have time for it later.

I've been falling behind http://www.nanowrimo.org. I should be half way to 50,000 words, but only have 8,000. I'm hoping that I will be able to catch up in the second half of the month. Right now I don't really have a cohesive story, but hopefully all my bits and pieces will come together and make some sort of sense. I'm looking forward to editing my almost novel over my Holiday break. I'm going to have two weeks off at the end of December. Its going to be so nice. I'm not as busy as I was last year, but I think I will still enjoy a few weeks off.

I re-joined the YMCA the other week, getting back into a workout routine has pretty much saved me. I get so stressed out when I don't workout, so that is keeping me calm and sane during work. And on that note, time for bed so I can get up and hit the gym in the morning!

Thankful Thursday (and some venting)

My friend is posting thankful Thursdays.. I'm hoping the things I'm thankful for will put in a better mood.

1. My Husband. He's supportive, dependable and puts up with my crazy moods.

2. My health. I've had my issues over the years (ahem, bus stop bench) but nothing serious.

3. My job. I'm thankful that I have a job....

... And on that note. I think the fall is our busiest season at work. 3 years ago, I was overwhelmed and overworked, but a promotion calmed me down. Two years ago, the idea of moving from planning to research got me through the busy season. Last year, I couldn't take it and jumped ship for a new job. This year, I'm drowning and I don't know what's going to get me through it. I'm happy I have a job, but I'm also bitter and resentful about all the work that I have and no one to help me. I know I'm not the only one because everyone is busy. I guess its times like these that make me miss having a team to work with. I work by myself, I work with other people, but no one consistently. I'm sleep deprived, straight up drained, and trying not to be so bitter.

But, I'm bitter.

Deal with it.

November Goals

1. Get started on this: http://www.nanowrimo.org/
2. Join a gym
3. Get on some sort of schedule
4. Read a few books
5. Relax

Forced time off.

I should know this by now, but if I don't make time for myself, my body forces me to take time. I woke up on Saturday coughing and feeling completely exhausted. I decided a half marathon just wasn't in the cards, and decided a day of sleep was the best way to spend my time and my weekend. Adam wasn't feeling well either, so we relaxed the day away lounging on the couch and watching movies. At least I have learned that the second I start to feel sick that I need to lay low and rest up. Of course, it seems like I usually start to feel sick on a weekend so at least I get the weekend to fully recuperate. Since we weren't planning on being home on Halloween, we didn't buy any candy. We kept our outside lights off and tried to keep our inside lights as dim as possible as we hid out from any neighborhood kids wanting candy. It looked like a lot of houses on our block were dark, so I don't feel too bad about not providing sugary snacks to kids in costumes.

I originally started writing this blog to keep up with friends that I studied abroad in London with in 2002. Of course, it was quite a surprise to get a comment from Katie, a girl that was studying with me about BH&G. While at Target today, I picked up a copy to see what the "blast from the past" was. Greg, a guy that we studied with is featured (along with his very pregnant wife) in the "We did it" section for re-doing their kitchen. That was indeed a blast from the past! I haven't heard anything about him since we left London and then I see him in a magazine, very random. But, I do love when that happens. Thanks, Katie for letting me know about BH&G, I'm certainly not a regular reader, so I'm glad you pointed it out.

Happy Daylight savings time... I still look forward to my extra hour, but it seems that all my friends with kids aren't quite as excited as I am...

Making Time.

I think part of the reason Adam and I had such a good time this weekend is because we didn't have any distractions. There was minimal work talk and no friends or family to infiltrate our time. I forget sometimes how important it is to make time for one another. A friend once wrote on her blog that you should never stop dating your spouse. I couldn't agree more, but I sadly forget to follow the rule. Case in point, my week...

Tonight, I had a touch football game (yeah, I play touch football.. I even got a touchdown tonight!) and then came back to work... and am still at work...

Tuesday- If I can get out of work, I am going to go wedding dress shopping with my future sister-in-law.

Wednesday- Meet some friends for happy hour

Thursday- Work Halloween party

Friday- Beer brewing/Halloween party

Saturday- run a 1/2 marathon and potentially more Halloween parties

Sunday- Soccer game and football party with my family

The only day that I will hang out with Adam is Friday, but in a group setting. I don't intentionally book up all my days, it just happens.

Wonderful Weekend.

Adam and I had a great weekend in Chicago. The bands were awesome, the weather was a little rainy, but nothing to complain about. The only things we bought were a belt for Adam (his belt broke at the Minneapolis Airport prepping for the security checkpoint) and two concert posters, one from each show we went to. This is a little strange for me since I absolutely love the Chicago Michigan Ave H&M and always find something to buy there. Maybe it was the rain, but I just wasn't in a shopping mood. Its probably better anyway, I find that most of the things I buy in other cities are available at my local H&Ms (yes plural, another one opened up at Southdale this weekend) and so I'm saving myself the sales tax.

It was a well needed break from reality, I'm a little dreading having to face the emails in my inbox, the projects that need to be finished and the meetings that are scheduled, but for tonight, I am still on vacation.

I'll probably write more about the weekend later, but for now, a picture from the weekend.

The soundtrack to our life

Girl: "I'm going to that show on Monday" (points at band name on t-shirt)
Boy: "Oh, yeah, me too"

A few hours later...
Girl: "Who are you going to the show with?"
Boy: "Myself"
Girl: "We should go together"

And 7 years later, the now married boy and girl went to see the same band play last night at the Varsity.

The Get Up Kids were awesome. They played "our song," Mass Pike... Since The Get Up Kids were the first band that Adam and ever saw together, its only fitting that our song be one of theirs.

Now we get to go see them again tomorrow in Chicago...

I'm pretty much on top of the world.

Keep on running.

My next adventure is another 1/2 marathon... in 12 days.

I've discovered that I can't just sit back, I need to be doing something. Or perhaps its the fact that once I get my mind open to an idea I have a hard time letting it go. Especially when I know that I can do it. I now know I can run 13 miles, I've done it several times now, so I can totally do it again.

Adam and I are off to Chicago this weekend to see some of our favorite bands. I wrote this post over the summer of my dream week of concerts, and it is happening.

Tomorrow we're seeing the Get Up Kids in Minneapolis. Then we're off to Chicago on Thursday to see them again and then Lawrence Arms on Saturday. I'm so excited to see these bands and to get to spend some time with Adam. Considering the fact that I have less things going on in my life, one would think that means I get to see my husband more. Shockingly, no... I've been back in the working world for less than 3 months and I definitely need a vacation!

What Next?

So far in 2009:

I've reached my pre-Adam weight.

I've got my Masters Degree.

I've run a 1/2 Marathon and a Marathon.

There are 3 months left in the year... what else should I do? Or, should I just call it a day and take some time to relax?

Do I always need to be pushing toward something, or can I learn to be content with what is? Eight months ago I was having coffee with a friend and I was counting down for school to be over and she was trying to savor every minute of her daughters new born days. I'm starting to feel like I always need be looking forward to something in the future instead of just enjoying the present.

I think its time I learned how to sit back, relax and enjoy life.

I am a Marathoner.

Three years ago, I ran my first 5K in 41:18. When I say "ran" I really mean, ran/walked. The next day I watched my one of my friends run the Twin Cities Marathon. We waited for her at mile 23 cheering runners on and cheering especially loud when we saw her. I remember thinking "this is crazy, I could never do that" but at the same time in the back of my head thinking "what if I could". I began running more, slowly building up the ability to run one mile without walking, and eventually two miles. I signed up for an indoor triathlon (400 meter swim, 12 mile bike, 2 mile run) and finished second to last in my heat, but I finished. I then signed up to run Grandma's half marathon, and was committed to doing it until I hurt my knee in a soccer game a month before the race. I think I was sort of looking for a reason not to run and used the injury as a good reason to back out. I was dead set on running a mid distance race because I signed up for the Twin Cities 10 mile and the Nike + 1/2 marathon in October 2007, just one year after my 5K debut. I again backed out of the 10 mile due to another knee injury from soccer and decided to walk the Nike + 1/2 marathon completely untrained. It took me 4 hours and it was sort of unpleasant, but I wanted to finish so I wasn't going to give up.

During grad school I ran off and on, but I still had some residual knee injuries. This last winter, despite grad school, I decided that I needed to take time for myself again and started running more frequently. But, I was still only running 3-4 miles regularly. In April 2009, I signed up for the Urban Wildland 1/2 marathon and the Twin Cities Marathon in the same week. With my track record of signing up for races, I had no idea if I would complete either race. I finished the Urban Wildland 1/2 marathon in 2:16:52 and ran the whole time. Yesterday, I ran the Twin Cities Marathon and finished in 5:14:36.

The marathon- It was a physical and mental journey, harder than I anticipated. I knew it was going to be tough, but there's something about being so close, yet still so far that can cause some vicious mind games. During my training long runs, I always felt good up until about 10-11 miles, and each mile after that was harder and harder. So, I knew after the half way point (13.1 miles) things would get harder, and they did. I was running with the 5 hour pace group thinking that we would be running 11:30 miles, but we were running at 10 minute mile pace for 10 minutes and would walk one minute and take 30-40 seconds at the water stops. This worked out for me for 17 miles but then, I just couldn't keep up the 10 minute/mile pace. I was getting light headed and feeling like I could pass out. I dropped back from the pace group and contemplated my marathon future.
Should I just stop right there? Should I keep going until I just pass out?

I slowed down to a walk and started to wonder if I would be able to finish at all. My head was whirling with worst case scenarios when I looked down at the pace bracelet on my wrist and saw I was only 2 minutes off my pace group. That suddenly jarred me back to reality and then I saw the 19 mile sign and I was back in the game. The last 6-7 miles were tough. A lot of the fans on summit had left and those that were there seemed to have minimal cheer left in them. Mile 25 felt like it was never going to end. And then the capital was in sight and I heard all the people cheering at the end. It was such a great feeling.

It still feels like a dream (except for all of my day after soreness) because I never thought I could say I ran a marathon. This was something that other people did, not me. I still don't feel like I'm a runner, despite the fact that I keep thinking about what races I wanted to do next. I used to be nervous to run 6 miles, now I'm not afraid anymore and know that I have the endurance and strength to handle just about anything I try. I am a Marathoner.

Pictures of the big day:

Mile 15 with the pace group. Still going strong. (Me in the purple)


Mile 20 "the wall," I smiled to myself when I got there as my 'wall' was mile 18 and I had already surpassed it.


Mile 23... Tired and ready to be done!


Nearing the finish line!


Crossing the finish line.


My parents with my Uncle Tim and his grandson greeting me at the finish.

Mystery Package.

I haven't ordered anything online in awhile, but this week I ordered some clothes from Old Navy and some boots from Zappos. I ordered the clothes from Old Navy on Saturday and they estimated I would get them in about a week, in my experience things seems to always arrive a day or two early. Either way, I've been checking the shipment confirmation daily since I ordered to see where its at, today I saw it was in Brooklyn Center and knew that I would get my clothes today or tomorrow. I just got home and saw a package for me in the mail pile and got excited for my new clothes.

I was looking at the return address and it wasn't from Old Navy and the size of the box certainly couldn't hold the boots I ordered so I was stumped. I opened the box to find a fuel belt. It is a belt that many runners use to hold water or sports drinks on long runs. I had been thinking about buying one, but since I only have one long run left until the marathon, I talked myself out of it. I honestly have no idea where it came from. Someone bought and shipped this to me and I have no idea who to thank.

Who ever you are, thank you for this kind gesture!

Saving the date.

As soon as I finished grad school (and didn't have a job) I decided I should take advantage of the fun things that happen around Minneapolis. The first thing I thought of was Apple Days in my hometown of Excelsior. I used to participate in annual parade as a kid and thought it would be fun to re-visit as an adult. I saw that it was taking place on September 12 and made a mental note to save the date for Apple Days. A few weeks after that I found out the Breath of Hope 5K was happening on September 12. I was confident that I could fit in both events without any issues and kept on planning. Then I was invited to my Uncle's birthday party for the same day. On top of all of this, I also had a dentist appointment! Thankfully, my dentist appointment was re-scheduled for different Saturday so I only had 3 events to juggle. After some consideration, I opted to skip Apple Days, if I haven't been to the parade for 20 years, I can probably wait one more year.

Of course, I woke up yesterday morning only to discover my sore throat from Friday was much worse and I felt awful. I had been planning a full day of activities for about 2 months and had to cancel them all. I barely even left my bed. Such a waste. So much for trying to save the date.

Let them listen.

I don't have any children, but if I did, I would be excited for them to listen to the President... Republican or Democrat.

Why is Obama giving a speech to school aged children such an issue?

Parental consent is needed in some schools in order for kids to hear some encouraging words from the person who runs this country. The person we elected?

If the majority of the adults in this country vote for someone to represent them, why is there such an issue about him then talking to the children of this country. They are our future. Let them see what happens when you work hard and get an education.

We allow advertising to enter our children's schools (via channel one), or at least we used to... but now we're blocking the President.

I just don't get it. I watched the OJ Simpson verdict from my 7th grade home economics class. What did that teach me? If you're rich enough you can get away with murder. Perhaps a message about hard work would have been better.

One month in.

I am employed. I am "contributing" to society. I have to put it in quotes because, let's face it, it's still advertising. I love being back at Carmichael. I'm still amazed at how much it feels like I never left. I think I'm enjoying working so much because I don't have to worry about school.

I honestly have NO idea how I managed the last 2 years. Having to only work and run is amazing. My head has room for other information and I can have hobbies and a social life again. So amazing and refreshing. I feel happy, healthy and relaxed. I could keep doing this, but I'll stop now. I think I've made my point.

I think the only reason I'm feeling so good is because I also had all summer off. I got to enjoy the gorgeous summer weather- yes, despite what everyone else is saying, we did have a summer, and it was perfect. I actually had time for myself to take care of me and reflect on the last couple years and to appreciate the chance to take a break.

I'm not bitter I was laid off, I can't be... I've had one of the best summers of my life. It's been 10 years since I had a summer off and it couldn't have come at a better time.

Adam and I enjoying one of the beautiful summer days...

Are you a runner?

Last week I was at Dick's sporting goods perusing the energy shots (used by runners during long runs to sustain energy) when another shopper asked me if I was a runner. I had no idea how to respond... am I? What makes someone a runner? While I was contemplating if I actually was a runner he followed up with his next question asking about where he, an out of towner, could do a long run. Thankfully that was a question that I could answer.

The lakes.

When I began training for the marathon, I anticipated that I would be changing up my running routes every week, but instead I keep adding to the same route.

Run down Lyndale to Minnehaha pkwy to the Lake Harriet, Calhoun and Isles. Every time the Minnehaha trail opens up to the South end of lake harriet, I feel a little jolt of excitement and it reminds me why I love this city.

I've been pondering the running question for the last week and as I get less and less afraid of my long runs, I think I am in fact a runner. When I ran my first 5K (just 3 years ago) I wasn't nervous because I knew that no matter what, I would be able to finish 3 miles. When I started running distances I hadn't even thought about running before, I was always a little nervous, because I might not finish. The farthest I had run before this training was 6 miles, and I had been untrained and didn't enjoy it. I'm pretty sure as I was finishing that race I told myself I was never running a 10K again. That was the last race I ran before the 1/2 marathon earlier this month. It's good to see that with some consistency running becomes enjoyable.

If you're in the MPLS area, come cheer me on, on October 4th.

Lots of words in my head...

... but they are not filtering down to my fingers, so blog remains lacking any sort of substantial update.

An update coming soon.

Close Call.

I was heading out for a 12 mile run around noon and asked Adam if he was going anywhere. He's on vacation this week and was looking pretty comfortable on the couch. He said he was staying there, so I told him I wasn't taking my house key.

The weather said it would be scattered thunderstorms and I just had a suspicion that I would be sitting outside my house in the rain because Adam left. It started raining the last 2 miles of my run, but it was refreshing and felt really good.

I was 1/2 block away from our house finishing my cool down when I saw Adam leaving the house. I yelled his name and he saw me, so he stopped.

If I would have walked a little bit more, or gone down a different block to get home, my premonition would have come true.

Thankfully, this time it didn't.

My First Cake.

Dear Stand Mixer*:
I apologize for all negative comments I have made toward you in the past. I looked at you as the lazy bakers necessity. I mocked you for being an over priced gadget. I touted how amazing my electric hand mixer was and that I would never need a stand mixer. I was wrong, so very wrong.

Thank you for helping me make my first cake.

xoxo,
Heather

Blank.

I want to write, but right now, at this moment, I don't have anything to say.

Blog, just know I'm thinking about you.

xoxo,
Heather

Music to my ears.

From the moment that I turned my capstone paper in, I have been drawn to music again. I like a lot of music, but there are a few bands that I love. I was just checking at some upcoming shows and this could be my dream week of music...

Oct 20- Get up Kids in Mpls
Oct 21- Get up kids in Chicago
Oct 22- Get up Kids in Chicago
Oct 24- Lawrence Arms in Chicago

Yes, I would happily see 3 Get up Kids shows in a week (they also broke up a few years ago, so the fact that they are playing shows at all is awesome). They were the first band that Adam and I saw together- 7 years ago. I don't even have a job yet, and I'm already planning my vacation time!

Now that I have time on my hands, its nice to be able to work things that I like doing back into my life. Adam and I saw some friends the other week and everyone kept commenting on how they hadn't seen us in awhile. I'm the social coordinator for the household, and when I'm busy, Adam doesn't really do much. I didn't really think about how my school schedule would affect Adam the last couple years. But now, we can go to concerts again, or at least I intend to. When I first moved back to Minneapolis, our whole friend group centralized around music, but we drifted apart years ago because of our schedules. It's hard to go to a bunch of mid-week concerts when you have to work in the morning. Hopefully I can learn to appreciate the things I used to love, but haven't had time to do.

Here's to re-discovering the things I enjoy doing....

New York.

My week in New York (sorry, super LONG post)...

Day One:
I had a 6:40 AM flight out of Humphrey on 6/30. I didn't want to wake Adam up super early to drive me to the airport, so I hopped a bus... at 4:20 AM. I had a flight to Milwaukee, a 3 hour lay over, and then my flight to LaGuardia. We were about 1/2 way through the flight to NY when the captain said that there was a hold up at the airport and we would be circling for awhile. He attempted to reassure us by telling us that we had "extra fuel" so it would be fine if we didn't land for awhile. After about an hour, the captain announced that no one was being allowed to land in the New York area because of weather, and we were landing in Pittsburgh. I called Sam, my sister's boyfriend who was picking me up for LGA...

"Hey Heather, I just got to LGA"
"Hey Sam, I just landed... in Pittsburgh"

I was supposed to land at LGA at 2:30, at 3:00 pm, I had landed in Pittsburgh for re-fueling and to wait for the NY airports to allow planes to land again. Thankfully the woman sitting next to me was also traveling solo, so I had someone to pass the time with. We finally landed in NY at 7:30.

Heidi, Sam and I went out to dinner in Chinatown at the "Vegetarian Dim Sum House" and then took the Staten Island Ferry.



Day Two:
Heidi tried to give me a crash course on my Brooklyn surroundings, but they didn't really sink in. I did manage to get myself to Bryant Park to met Heidi when she got done with work. Went to the MoMA to see the permanent collection. I pretty much got a personal tour from my sister because of her art history knowledge. This was also the day that I decided I needed to get proper walking shoes- so I replaced my worn out vans with a new pair (Adam had the same idea and got me the exact same shoes for my birthday...). Heidi and I celebrated our birthday a night early with some cupcakes/cake. I went to Magnolia bakery, Heidi went to some health food store for something sugar free. We had some amazing Falafel at Tiam in the West Village.





Day Three- My Birthday:
Perhaps one of the most not fun birthday's ever. It's a tough call- I don't have amazing birthdays. Generally almost everyone I know is out of town at a cabin, so there usually isn't anyone around to celebrate with me. And of course, there is generally that whole sharing a birthday that usually leads to me doing something that I don't want to do because my sister wants to do something... You know how sharing goes. My sister was moving out of her apartment and moving day fell on our birthday... so I offered to help. We moved from 8-noon, then Heidi and I went to the spa. The spa was our original birthday plan, but of course got a little de-railed because of the moving. Of course we weren't finished moving before the spa excursion, so we had to finish after and moved again from 7-10:30 pm. Heidi had her heart set on having a nice relaxing dinner and drinks with a couple of close friends at Red Bamboo. To our amazing luck, the restaurant closed at 11, and we realized it at 11:15. We soon discovered that all the restaurants within close vicinity closed at midnight, therefore leaving us with limited options for our birthday dinner. I toasted Heidi at midnight (when we finally got drinks) and told her that it was July 3rd and the day had no where to go but up. I was wrong.

Day Four:
While doing some NY research, I saw that Governor's Island was open, a former military base in between Brooklyn and Manhattan. There is a free ferry to the island, but its only open Friday-Sunday. Heidi and I planned to go for a bike ride that day, so I thought we should hit up Governor's Island as well. After all, Friday is bike day on the Island. We rode across the Brooklyn Bridge and through downtown to get to the ferry place. We were a little unclear where to catch the Ferry and of course ended up at the wrong slip. To our amazing fortune, Heidi also got a flat tire. So, there we were, several blocks from where we wanted to be with two bikes, and one flat tire, but no tools to fix it. We walked our bikes to a bike shop to get it fixed. At this point, it is worth noting that Heidi forgot her wallet, and I was now funding out biking adventure.


We finally got on the road and biked through Battery park and the West Side Highway. It is an amazing bike path that goes along the Hudson River. We rode up to 125th Street...
Us resting at the end of our trek.


My friend Anna was singing that night, so we biked over to her show. After, Heidi and I went to this Japanese restaurant where you get to make your own cotton candy at the end.
Heidi making our cotton candy.


As we walked back to our bikes, we noticed something wrong. Majorly wrong. We were down to one bike. Heidi's new Surly bike was gone. Her old bike, that I was riding, was just resting against the bike rack no longer attached to the pole. One bike without a seat was gone (Heidi took her seat with her) and the other bike untouched. We threw our one remaining bike in the back of a cab and heading back to Brooklyn. Not only had we still not recovered from an awful birthday, we then had to deal with scrapping all of our plans for the rest of the weekend that sadly involved two bikes. Of course, Heidi was distraught over her bike, I was concerned about my vacation. We did end the night eating vegan ice cream and having a Michael Jackson dance party.

Day Five:
4th of July! We went to Queens to the PS1 gallery for their summer Saturday concert series "warm up". Went on a walk through Central Park and ultimately made our way to the West Side Highway to watch the fireworks. Everyone else had the same idea...



We walked through Times Square on our way back to the train. The look on Heidi's face is priceless...


Day Six:
It was Sunday and my last and final day to go to Governor's Island. The silly island had been plaguing me for 2 days and I was going to get there! I first met my friend Anna, in DUMBO (Down underneath the Manhattan Bridge Overpass), for the Brooklyn flea market...


Anna agreed to accompany me to the elusive Governor's Island. We walked across the Brooklyn Bridge and Anna was nice enough to play photographer...




We finally got to the island and after waiting for 3 days to get there, it wasn't that exciting. They did have some interesting art exhibits around the island that made it worth while. But, it was free, so there wasn't any need to complain. We followed up the ferry ride to Governor's Island with another ferry ride to Staten Island.


I ended the night with a wonderful dinner at Red Bamboo, an all vegetarian restaurant in Brooklyn (where we were trying to go on our birthday). This was well worth the wait. Heidi had taken a couple days off while I was in town, but she had to go back to work on Monday. Monday was my last full day there and I was aiming to hit up a few museums that I hadn't got to yet. Heidi casually mentioned that it was Monday and her gallery wasn't open the next day because it was Monday. That immediately made me worry that museum's weren't going to be open either. Shocker- almost all of them are closed!

Day Seven:
The only museum that was open was the American Museum of Natural History, so I went there. I also realized that lots of stuffed animals creep me out, so I spent most of my time in the planetarium section. I got another Magnolia cupcake, because they are amazing, hit up Grand Central Station and went in search of some New York Pizza. I went to Ray's pizza in SoHo. Ray's is supposed to be one of the first pizzerias in NY, but there are A LOT of pizza places named Ray, so it's hard to be sure which one is the first one, but this one had good reviews so I went there. It was cheap and tasty. I met up with my friend Sarah to walk the "highline" a new park that was built on an above ground train tracks. After that, I headed out to Bryant Park for their movies in the park night. They were playing "Dog Day Afternoon" which was set in Brooklyn.

Day Eight:
My last day. The first part of my trip I was cat sitting for some friend's of my sister, but they came home Sunday evening, so my last two nights were spent staying with my sister and Sam. The hot water in their new apartment wasn't working, so my number one priority on Tuesday morning was to get shower, preferably one that wasn't ice cold. Thankfully, their hot water had just gotten fixed that morning. I ended my NY trip with a walk to prospect park and a slice of Brooklyn Pizza.




Despite all the mishaps I did have a good trip. But I'm glad to be home. However, now that I'm back, all I have to do it sit back and think about my employment search...

I'm a jetsetter

Whew. Done.

Well, mostly... I just have a few revisions to make, but anticipate turning in my final paper early next week. I'm going to try to work on it tomorrow when the feedback is still "fresh" in my mind. The whole defending process was much easier than I anticipated. My committee spent more time convincing me to go on and do the Ph.D program than on my current research. Hmm, Ph.D, now that's a crazy concept, right? I haven't even been done a day and I'm actually toying with the idea. I swear this is how it always works. I'm totally content with one idea, then another one gets brought up and I need to inquire about it. I was totally content just getting my Masters, until today, when now I'm wondering if I could continue on. Part of me thinks its absolutely crazy and part of me thinks I could totally do it. Why do I love a challenge so much? Why can't I just be content and call it a day?

Perhaps if I had a job to return to Monday morning, I might be less inclined to continue my education. Maybe I will just work on getting my research published and see how that goes.

In other news... I just booked a flight to NYC to visit my sister! I'm excited to spend one week in New York over my birthday to see my sister and visit some friends. Its also weird that I'm going solo... Adam will be staying home as we don't want to turn it into a "vacation" per se, but just a small trip. I was able to score a pretty cheap flight, so that makes me pretty happy. Just another thing to look forward to and its already 2 weeks away! I've only been to NYC once and it was right before I started dating Adam. I was 20 on a family vacation with my sister and parents, not really the best way to see the city, so I'm looking forward to getting a personal tour from my sister this time. The next three weeks are going to be busy: Vegas this weekend, camping next weekend and then New York.

I think I prefer counting down to travel instead of papers for once!

D-Day

Capstone Defending Day.

In a couple of hours, I will defend my paper. I really don't know what it entails, but I know it will only be 60 minutes. I've opted not to do a presentation and will instead have an open discussion with 3 very established faculty members... No pressure there.

Almost done. 2 years of hard work will all come to an end in 3 hours. Its hard to believe I'm officially almost done.

Slob.

For reasons unknown I am now going to share how much of a slob I have become in the last 3 days.

I have eaten fast food for every meal today. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Eerily, "chicken" was consumed in various forms for each meal along with various forms of "potatoes". This fact alone makes me a little queasy. This decision was based solely on the fact that I would not have to exit a vehicle to retrieve the food and that the food is not only delivered quickly to said car, but can be consumed quickly. (When one is working on a deadline these are important details).

I have not showered for more days than I'm willing to admit at this point... or changed clothes. Its gross and way beyond my usual standards of cleanliness. Since I have to leave the house (and my car) tomorrow, I'm sort of saving up all my grunginess for a really amazing shower tomorrow.

In my head this list was longer. But before I waste brain power adding to it, I should stop.

This is all in the name of grad school and the final project that allows me to graduate and get the nifty piece of paper that I can frame and add to my wall. On a side note, my marathon training has come to a crashing halt and I will attempt to reinstate it tomorrow.

Saturation point.

I'm finishing up some research for my final paper (2 days to go!) and had been thinking that there's no way I will get to a point where I think I've found everything. Except, I think I just reached that point. I was reading an article and realized all the sources it was citing, I had already read. So here I am nodding along to the article when I realize that I might actually be getting to the end, and have a good grasp on the concepts. Hopefully this will lead to a day of prosperous writing.

Its an odd, but good, feeling thinking these are the last few days ever that I have to do this. Since my classes have been over, I have been relaxed, but I still knew this time was coming that I would have to write this paper. I know I will probably have to make some revisions to my paper, but I anticipate that to be a fairly easy process. I've been looking forward to this time for so long that it seems unnerving that I'm almost there. It has been so stressful the last two years, that I keep thinking in a week, it will all be over.

Oh so tired.

Pretty much all I did this week was sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. A bunch of friends from grad school met up last night for a NE bar crawl. Since I was loosing my voice by bar two, I decided I should head home. I knew that if I stayed out later, I would not be able to be productive today. Now, here it is 6:30 and I've barely done anything. I woke up at 11 and was napping by 12. Four hours later, I finally woke up, but I still feel tired. I don't know where all my energy has gone.

Here's to 24 oz of gas station coffee and hoping it gets me going. This paper is not writing itself.

I win.

After debating the pros and cons of Vegas, Adam has conceded to my position and has agreed to go. He still claims that he will not be able to have fun, but I think I can work on that one. We don't gamble much-- I can put $5 into a nickle machine, and cash out $5 30 minutes later. So, we don't have to worry about extreme spending there. I am going to hunt the internet for coupons, deals and discounts so we can have a good time while we're there. If I can figure out a budget for us, I think he will realize its not so bad. Who knows, maybe I will have a job before we go... A lot can happen in two weeks.

So I got my last official check from my former employer today and went to the bank to deposit it. I went inside and was again asked about direct deposit from my employer. I told her that wouldn't be necessary as it was my last check. She inquired if I quit or... yes, I was laid off I answered for her. As I left the bank, I kept thinking to myself, "isn't there a better option than having to go inside the bank?". Yes. Duh. The DRIVE UP teller. For some reason, in my banking world, there are two options: Inside the bank at the counter or the ATM. I had completely forgot about the drive up teller. No silly questions to answer, no unnecessary sales pitches about online banking or credit cards, just banking. To my defense, I'm used to depositing money when I'm downtown and there is no drive up option since it's in the skyway. It's the little things that make a difference.

Last week I reached my goal weight. And by "reached" I decided my goal weight after I weighed in and liked the number. That's totally normal right? The sad thing, I was at this weight a month ago but was delusional that I should loose 5-6 more pounds. Then graduation came, then getting laid off happened-- two events that don't help weight loss. So, this week I was back to having lost 10% of my original weight and fitting in sizes that I haven't worn since high school. (I think adding stretch to everything makes the sizes considerably different than they were 10 years ago...). I have a pair of pre-Adam jeans that I use to test out my results, if they fit well, I'm happy. This means I have 6 weeks (5 after tomorrow) until I can be a lifetime Weight Watchers member. I guess if I still don't have a job in 5 weeks, I can apply for to work for Weight Watchers... Hopefully I don't have to resort to that.

Fun Weight Watchers point fact:
Whole wheat bagel from Brueggers: 8 points (plain is 5 points)
Light Veggie cream cheese: 2 points
Store bought donut: 5 points
Cake donut with icing: 7 points

Whole wheat and Light are deceiving!

If you're a donut fan, you're on to something. (Samara, I'm looking at you)

Is it really worth it?

So I finally called Expedia to see about canceling our Vegas trip. As I was on hold to talk to someone, I saw that our flights were non refundable. If we canceled, we would each be given a $300 voucher for future use. But when we go to use the voucher, we will each be charged $150, there fore without trying we're out $300. And we don't actually get any of the money back for the flight- it's just saved for a later trip. So, if we canceled our trip we would get back 1/4 of what we paid. When Adam and I were talking about this yesterday I asked him, "what if we only get back 1/2 the money?" and he said he would still want to cancel. Of course my comment was that we shouldn't just throw away $400 (especially since we already paid for it!). He's worried about the money that we would spend there. I think we could do Vegas on a budget/cheap. I actually think it would be a fun challenge to see how little we could spend while we're there. There are cheap restaurants in Vegas, and you don't have to spend tons on a meal, and there are tons of free attractions and stuff there. We were originally going to splurge and see a cirque show, but we don't have to do that. I guess it just doesn't seem worth it to cancel something when you don't actually get your money back. AND it's not that we need the money back. We want the money back. Or Adam wants the money back. I just don't want to throw it away. It's like the commercial (if I could find it I would link it) with a guy running out of his house with a bag of money and throws it into the garbage truck. That's how I feel right now.

Adam and I clearly have different opinions on this, I'm just not sure if we'll be able to get on the same page. I may have to figure out how much money we spend in Minneapolis on a weekend and say, that we can spend the same amount in another city. I may end up having to research all of the free things to do in Vegas over the next week just to make my point.

I should be writing my paper...

Tension

I can't state a source for this fact, but I've heard from more than one that money is usually a main source of fighting within a household. Since Adam I generally have some, we've been ok. But now we've gone from a DINK (Double Income No Kids) to SINK (Single Income No Kids) and I don't like it. I liked knowing that I had a pay check and brought money into the house. It made me feel like I didn't have to justify my expenses because I earned it. Now, I feel like I can't spend money on anything because I'm not helping bring any in. The worst part is Adam and I had a trip to Vegas planned to celebrate my graduation and our anniversary. He wants to cancel it. He doesn't even want to entertain the idea of still going. I don't know what the cancellation policy is (I'm dreading looking into it) but if we're out some money, I would rather we just go because if we're going to throw money way, why not just spend it and sort of enjoy it.

It doesn't help that everyone around me is telling me to travel. Believe me, if it was just me and I had money, I would. But since I am part of a unit and the other half has a death grip on the bank account, it probably won't happen. Does this frustrate me, yes. But I also need to remember the reason said unit has savings is from the death grip on the bank account. I love that Adam is a saver because it means that we plan and think about the future. The problem with that is that you can't be spontaneous. No impromptu trips happen. Nothing spur of the moment. I know others that live their lives saving up and traveling until they run out of money. My heart is there, but my body lives in a high interest savings account.

It has been 3 weeks of unemployment. I have had a couple interviews with a second round interview happening tomorrow and more meetings set up next week, so I'm trying to find something. But when is the next time I will have free time again?

I've also been sick all week with what I'm hoping are just allergy issues, so I haven't been running since my sinuses were driving me crazy- so that is also a major source of my frustration. I haven't been able to vent all week and I think it's all just building up now and I'm taking it all out on a soon to be canceled vacation. AND I have my FINAL paper due in 6 days and let's just say it needs A LOT of work. (I'm trying to remain calm and realizing that I still have more time to devote to it than any other paper I have written in the last two years). Sigh.

One Year.

Adam and I have been married for one year.

May 31, 2008


May 30, 2009


Happy 1st Anniversary Adam, I love you!

I should have taken a camera.

I was a 1/2 a block away from my house when my bike chain got messed up. I went back home and fixed it and was on my way for a bike ride. 2 blocks away from my house, I thought "I should take my camera." I quickly shook that notion aside and kept going. I rode my bike down the Minnehaha bike path to Minnehaha Falls for lunch. I stopped at Subway close by, but there were not any bike racks to lock my bike up, so I locked my bike up to the Handicap parking sign. That seemed rather ironic to me- but if I did have my camera, I would have taken a photo. Then I went over to the falls, where naturally, waterfalls are begging to be photographed. I was under the impression there was some sort of bike path into the park, if there is I didn't find it, but I biked around the edge until I hit the Mississippi. I thought about it for a second and decided to bike across to St. Paul, just so I could say I've bike to St. Paul before. I then found my way onto West River Road, the bike path that runs parallel to the Mississippi. I stopped at a map to see where I was going and realized I could turn around and go back the way I came, or I could keep going and see where the path takes me. Of course, I immediately needed to figure out how to get home if I took option number 2 and there it was, the greenway. The bike path that cuts across the city and is quite amazing. For most of the way, the path is underneath street level, which is a new way to see Minneapolis. When I was coming up to the Midtown Exchange building, it was such a great view that I again wished I had my camera. Today has been another beautiful and sunny day, so naturally all the lakes look amazing. The Greenway bike path deposited me right by Lake Calhoun, where I bike back around that and Harriet to meet up with the Minnehaha bike trail and ended up across the street from where I started my little adventure. I was anticipating about a 10 mile bike ride, and ended up going 23. The riding it self took about 2 hours, but my lunch stop added about 30 more minutes.

Having a day like to day makes me want to take advantage of every nice day we have. It makes me never want to sit inside again.

Next time I will bring my camera... and the same bike ride will probably take me 3 hours for all the stopping!

Yeah, I have the day off.

Just when I was starting to feel like I could use some more social interaction in my daily life, I discovered that its better if I don't.

I went to pick up my new glasses...



The lady at the store asked me if I had the day off today. Um, yeah, day off... I love how the fact that I originally stopped in on a Tuesday afternoon didn't phase her.

My next stop was the bank to deposit my check for my unused vacation time. The teller asked me if I wanted to set up direct deposit for future checks. Um, no, there won't be anymore checks from them. Then she asked if I had the day off. Oh, yes, and I do have the day off. She seemed envious that I have a long weekend off. Part of me wanted to justify it and tell her that I have the day off because of my one year anniversary this weekend. But that just seemed unnecessary and kept the information to a minimum.

Needless to say, I think I'm ok not having a lot of interaction with people right now.

It's officially been two weeks.

It's 12 minutes after midnight, making it Thursday and 2 weeks since I got laid off. It's been one week since I had an interview and my final paper is due in two weeks. For some reason I'm only dealing with time in weekly increments.

I have discovered that being alone with my thoughts is a dangerous situation. I can't turn my head off, it just keeps going and processing and today, I kept thinking about "What do I want to do with my life?". For some reason, what I want to do seems dependent on what's available. If I get the job I interviewed for last week, I will totally love it. But, I also just applied for a job at the U of M (perfect timing now that I am almost done with my education!!) as a communications manager for the theatre arts and dance department. Yes it entails all of the communications skills I have acquired over the years, but it has the hours listed of 8:30 to 4! A start and end time that is very desirable. Today I was thinking about what I loved to do and I kept coming back to dance. Granted I'm a few years out of practice, but as I have been getting back into shape its something that I want to do again. So, when I decided to check out job postings at the U and saw that one, it seemed like a perfect fit. We'll see about the pay as it said DOQ, which I have now discovered means "Depending on qualifications". Of course I want to use the skills that I have learned over the past 4 years and continue working at an agency, but at the same time having time to relax makes me want to have a good work/life balance-- hence applying for the U of M job. A generic communications job. This was the job I feared when I got done with school 4 years ago, now I'm okay with it as I could actually do it and would have a lot of fun with it. There was also a job as an admissions counselor- that appealed to me too. I just remember what a frightening time starting college was and not knowing what to expect. I guess part of me would like to help students in that capacity.

I really need to just focus on finishing my paper and not worry about what to do with my life right now. I should spend my time writing the best freaking research paper the Strat Comm department has ever seen and not worry about what I should do with my new found degree. I should also keep running, because that is one of the only things keeping me sane right now.

When I said this week was an adjustment week...

... I had no idea.

I was laid off approximately 3 hours ago.

I was able to gather my composure to talk to AT&T to change my corporate phone back to my personal phone number, and talk with my co-workers who were actually very encouraging. The AT&T guy said at the end he was sorry I lost my job and hoped things would be okay. That was nice. My director that hired me found out it was my last day shortly before I found out... Everyone said all of the standard things... "It's not you", "you were great," "you're smart, you'll bounce back". Its nice to know I have a small army ready to help me job hunt.

Mostly, I'm shocked and speechless.

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Is it real?

It has certainly been an adjustment week not having classes after work. Last year when classes were done, I jumped right into wedding planning. Now, I've jumped into running, which is such a different mental challenge. Instead of having to think about a bunch of different things, I actually get to focus on one task at a time. With running I have to push myself to run farther and faster. I need to reassure myself that I can actually do it instead of being stressed out trying to finish work and homework. It is really nice to know that I have the time to work out and the marathon training is forcing me to be consistent. Last night I got home from work and Adam was sitting on the couch eating dinner and had a plate set out for me. I was tempted for a second to sit down and eat, but then I knew that if I did, I would not go for a run. So I quickly changed and got out the door before I got sucked into couch sitting all night. I ran 2 miles and it was sort of a tough run, for a "short" distance, I thought it would be easy, but I had a hard time getting into it. I was scheduled to run 3-4 miles this morning, so I was dreading that after such a tough 2 mile run yesterday. On top of that, I biked into work (its bike/walk to work day) which takes about 40 minutes, so I thought it would be a very difficult run this morning... I was pleasantly surprised when my run was easier. I think the bike ride helped warm me up and I was able to run at a faster pace than I usually do. While not that exciting, it makes me feel less scared about the marathon knowing that I'm building up the endurance I need to. Of course all this activity is making me tired by 10 pm. I can barely make it through the Daily Show before I'm out. So on the plus side, I'm getting a lot of sleep these days!

When I was in school, I kept thinking that once I'm done I will be able to balance my life between work, me and Adam better. But that's not working out as much yet. While it's not necessarily a bad thing, I'm still focusing way more on myself than I am on Adam. Yes, it is important to take time for myself, but I also need to take time for my husband. I feel like there is always an excuse for me... this time, it's "once I get my paper done".

June 10th my paper is due (27 days)
June 17th Capstone defending (34 days)
June 19th heading to Vegas (36 days)

Is something missing?

I took the last final of my graduate school career last night. Whew, very glad to be done with that! It feels weird right now knowing that I don't have anything to do tonight. I will hopefully meet up with my college roommate who is in town, but I get to relax and be social. Of course I'm excited for that, but at the same time, I'm waiting for it to end. Like its spring break all over again and I only get a week off before I have to go to back to classes. Last year at this time I was putting the finishing touches on my wedding planning so I was so excited to be done with school so I could focus on the wedding. Now, I don't have anything to jump into immediately besides marathon training and my final paper which is due one month after Mother's Day. Maybe that's the other part about what I'm feeling. I'm done with classes, but not officially done with "homework" yet. I know that if it came down to it, I could write my paper in a week, but I don't want to stress myself out with it. I just want it to be as calm of a process as I can make it.

Adam just kept saying "I'm glad to have my Heather back". Hmm, did I change that much while I was in school?!

I see the light.

Checking it off my list...

Case study- printed and put into a cover. Check!
Essays- printed to bring to class. Check!
Final- I will take it in 2 hours. I have 40 terms that I know, okay so roughly 30 that I actually know. And I need to be able to identify 8 of the 10 she gives me. I think the odds are in my favor, but with my luck it will all 10 of the ones I'm iffy on. Even so, once I finish those 8 terms, I will be done with everything for this semester. I still have to turn my paper in on Thursday, but that's the easy part.

I could just be suffering from over confidence, but I feel pretty good about the work that I've done this semester, so hopefully my grades will reflect that. I've certainly worked harder this semester than I have in a great while. It's been challenging and its been hard, but I am glad that I did it and that I know what I am capable of doing. That said, I hope I never have to challenge myself this much again, and if I am, I hope its concentrated on one area. I can throw myself into work or I can throw myself into school, but juggling both is not easy.

Right now, I'm just getting really excited to relax a little and hang out with some of my classmates and family this weekend. It's weird to think about all the time I've spent with some of these people over the last 2 years and that suddenly it will be over. Granted, the people that I do want to see, I know I will still see, just not twice a week with the occasional weekend study group. At least we can see each other socially. I think there is a reason graduations are held in the spring. It feels like a new beginning, its finally comfortable to be outside and it seems like everyone gets more social and are happier. Moods are so reflective of the weather and everyone is happy in the Spring. I, myself, am ecstatic.

No, I haven't seen...

Why are women the keeper of all things? As I child, I vividly recall asking my mom if she had seen (fill in the blank item), and she always had. Very rarely would she not know where something was. I have come to realize, Adam is doing this to me. No Adam, I have not seen your headphones. Yes, they could have gotten washed with your clothes as I didn't check your pockets, but I have not seen them. In between writing an 18 page paper, 7 pages of essays and studying for a final, I didn't take your headphones. Of course something is lost after the house was cleaned yesterday.

SO close to being done. This evokes just a small amount of excitement that I'm feeling right now...


I need to re-read my case study before I turn it in just to make sure it is grammatically sound and checks out ok, format my references and add my appendix. But those are all pretty easy things and I can probably get them done tomorrow. Whew. What a feeling.

Of course, I still have my final- final paper due June 10th (with the defending June 17th), but since that is the only thing I will have to work on outside of work for the next month, I think I can do it. Its hard to divide attention between two classes and several work projects and keep them all straight. Last week I went to a meeting thinking it was for Oxygen when in fact it was for Bravo, oops.