Things forgotten today.

My Watch... but I have my heart rate monitor which tells time.

My engagement ring... but I have my wedding band (because I never take it off).

My jacket... but I have a fleece, a vest, and a sweater. Of course there's talk of a snow storm today. *Note to self: check weather daily!

On the upside, I successfully got out of bed and made it to the gym this morning. I was SO close to talking myself into another 30 minutes of sleep. I finally stopped feeling sore from my workout with the company trainer from Friday and was at the dangerous zone of not working out for 5 days. I could continue on that pattern or take charge and go for a run. A few days off is all that I need to revert back to old patterns (aka, laziness). It is amazing how quickly it happens. But I'm feeling calm and collected today when I would normally be feeling like the day is spiraling out of control. Must remember this feeling!

Rule of 3.

I can handle 3 things at once: School, Work, Me. Work, me, Adam. Adam, school, work. It seems to be either I take care of myself, or I spend time with Adam. I can't seem to figure out how to do all four. Since I only have a month and a half to deal with it, I'm not overly worried about figuring it out. But at the same time, now that I have re-discovered how important it is for me to take care of myself, I don't want to give it up, not even for 50 days. Sadly, looks like Adam ends up on the side of least attention. Case in point: this morning I got to work early to use the company gym. I knew Adam would be relying one me to make sure he got up, but at the same time, what can I really do when I'm not there. I called him around 8:30 to make sure he was in fact awake and out the door. He told me he got up late and that I shouldn't be responsible to wake him up. Breakthrough!

Of course, then he joked that it was in fact my responsibility to help him wake up... so close, so close.

I'm also extremely happy that I got out of bed and worked out this AM because my day, week and potential weekend might have just gotten a whole lot busier!! I love that I never know what I'm going to be working on at work, but I also had no idea Fall planning was getting kicked into high gear today. A little warning is nice.

Hump Day.

This is one time when I do not want the week to fly by in anticipation of the weekend. I sort of just want to keep having Wednesdays. Not have I have tons of homework to finish, but I have enough and I pretty much only have tomorrow to finish it. This week is just flying by and I don't want it to. I want to continue spring break forever. I know I'm less than two months away from graduation, but still, it's just nice to have the time off. We also have a very busy weekend ahead of us. We have to go to a wedding, 45 minutes away- at 2:30 on Saturday. So, that means leaving by 1 to guarantee that we get there on time, etc. Then we have a couple hours before the dinner, which is fine, but I'm not really sure what to do, I guess this is when people go to the bar. Since dinner is at 6, I'm not sure how late the evening will go. Either way, most of Saturday is non-existent for homework time. And then we have Adam's Grandma's birthday at 2:00 on Sunday, and I'm going to a study group on Sunday evening. So my homework time is pretty much just limited to the weekend mornings. Awesome. I have to finish a paper (what I'm trying to work on now, obviously, I'm doing a great job with that) and I have to finish a book for class and do my study guide before I meet my study group. Yikes. Of course I'm also trying to work out regularly, so that's an extra element of things to plan into my schedule. I'm getting to the point that I might try to get up at 5/5:30 am on Friday so I can go for a run (trying to work up to running for an hour) and then be downtown by 8am so I can hit up likemind before work and then be to work by 9am. I think in this scenario I need a nap by 11am. I know I have an issue of over planning. I'm not sure what I can do about it. Homework, work, and workouts are hard to balance and I'm not sure how I'm going to keep doing it all, but of course, I'm going to try.

So this is what its like.

Spring Break, the time in a student's life when you get a taste for what life is like without classes. It's just a taste for what things will be like soon, but not now. Part of me loves it, part of me hates it. Love because I actually get to be spontaneous and have a life. Hate because I'm still thinking about school, but not actually doing it. My weekend is pretty full with celebratory events (friend's wedding, Grandma birthday party), so that means I actually need to do some homework this week since I don't have much time over the weekend to do it. I was going to be lame and just go home after work to get things done, but instead I met up with a friend and ended up in the Minneapolis St. Patrick's day parade. The parade itself is pretty uneventful. I was actually surprised at the amount of people who were there watching. We ended up going out of sushi after. It was so incredibly nice to just get to hang out with a friend and not feel rushed or distracted with thoughts of school. In the back of my mind, I knew I should probably be finishing a paper, but it was such a little worry, I barely acknowledged it. I just couldn't get over the fact that in 51 days, I will be able to do whatever I want whenever I want. Yes, I will still have to set aside some time to write my final paper for the program, but I won't be mandated to Tuesdays and Thursdays. I can choose any days I want! So exciting! As I get into retrospective mode, it makes me realize how hard these last two years have been. At first, it was manageable, but the second year is much more frustrating as we're so close to being done, yet, still have a lot to do. Because of this, spring break feels like a cruel trick. "You're almost done, so we'll taunt you with a week off". But at the same time, the week off is almost a necessity to re-charge and get the last surge of energy needed to get through the semester. The semester would be awful without the time off, so it's completely necessary, I just don't appreciate the mind games it plays on me.

--
Countdown
Graduation: 51 Days
Thesis: 91 Days

The other thing on my mind.

I'm still doing weight watchers and its going well. This weekend, the end of my 7th week, I reached a total loss of 10 pounds. This is the point in the past where I decide that I've been doing well and can now 'splurge' on a few meals for a couple weeks. This of course off puts any progress that was made and its back to square one. Not this time. I'm training for a 1/2 marathon for August, with the potential of attempting the TC Marathon in the Fall. There's a lot of 'if' with the marathon, but I'm keeping my options open on it. Either way, I'm continuing to run and staying active which will help tremendously in reaching my weight loss goal. I haven't actually decided on my final goal yet as I'm not sure what will be maintainable for me. But the positive side is I have been learning some really good habits and have been able to cook for me and Adam without having to cook two separate meals. I can adjust my meals accordingly, adding more veggies and less starches, while actually making Adam happy about what he's eating. Trust me, this is not an easy task. He is one picky eater. But knowing a few key lessons I think will ultimately allow me to get to where I want to be without getting too frustrated. Its really nice to take control back in my life, eating well adds a nice stable foundation for me and really makes me calmer. I'm sort of wondering why I didn't do this a few years ago...

It feels like Spring.

I'm wearing shoes without socks.

I wore my vest instead of a jacket.

The sun is visible.

Are these signs that spring is actually here? Or are we yet again just being taunted into thinking Spring is here? It's so frustrating when it gets warm then then it snows again and gets unbearably cold. Here's to hoping it's actually spring this time...
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Last week I discovered that my bus route changed. It's not so much that the route itself changed but the fact that there is no longer an 8:20 bus. This was the best time for me to catch the bus. So now, I have to catch the 7:40 bus and get to work around 8:15. This is not that bad, but I got used to having the extra 30 minutes in the morning, or if I was aiming to catch the 7:40 bus, I always knew that the 8:20 bus was there. But of course this happens as the buses go on a downtown detour- dropping me off a few blocks away from work instead of right outside the door. Yes, I can handle a 3 block walk, it was just harder now knowing what I used to have. These two bus changes make me seriously consider that its time to A). get a car, and B). drive to work. The car factor stems from the fact that there are potentially two cars for sale on Adam's side of the family that would be perfect for me. Me actually wanting to drive to work comes from the bus schedule screwing with my perfect schedule. In the summer (when school is over and I no longer carry around extra books and laptops) I think I will try to bike to work more and that may calm my irrational driving thoughts.
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Adam and I were at his uncle's house this weekend and his uncle (after a few beers) was telling me how much he likes my facebook status updates (the same as my twitter updates). I suddenly felt a pressure to perform. It's one thing to just throw random thoughts out there, it's another when I know people are seeking them out. It sort of threw me off. While I like to hear people like what I am writing and enjoy my randomness, it now makes me think twice while updating. "Is this funny, or should I say this instead?". Does the fact that I now think about it no longer make it funny at all?
---

Graduation Countdown:
53 days
14 more actual classes
92 days until I defend my thesis

Maybe I'll just do the laundry

I love my husband dearly, but he makes me nervous when he does the laundry. We typically have 3 loads each week: whites, colors, and towels/sheets/misc. I don't really separate beyond that as we don't really have much more. 3 loads of laundry can all be done in an afternoon. The dryer takes awhile sometimes, so that's really the only hold up in the process. I wasn't feeling well after dinner and just went to bed early last night. Adam said he would put the dishes away and finish the laundry. I thought it was a good deal for me. I woke up this morning and the dishes were in the dishwasher, but not any of the pots or pans used to cook with. Our dishwasher safe grill (used to cook Adam's steak) was sitting on the counter. I'm not a fan of most meat items, let alone the next day smell of a grill used to cook them... ewww. When I got home from work (a few minutes ago) everything was still out and the laundry still wasn't done. I asked Adam about the towels and he said they were still in the washer. So he successfully transferred one load of wash into the dryer in 4+ hours.

The speed of the male species doing household chores amazes me.

I know the job market sucks right now...

Just because I have a job, it does not mean that I can help you get a job. If I suddenly hear about something (which since I'm not actually looking will probably be unlikely) I will tell you about it. The last couple of days I have gotten a few random "job help" requests and over the last month about 6 requests total. Guess what, you all will probably qualify for the same jobs! Guess what else? I will give some of you more help than others! Why?

For starters, if we are actually friends, as in we've made an effort to hang out sometime in the past 6ish months, we talk on a semi-regular basis, I invited you to my wedding. And you actually are currently unemployed. Yes- you will be getting the most help from me.

Who are the people that I will "do what I can" for? People I haven't actually met before (friends of friends) and those that have a job, but just want something else (and we don't actually talk outside of a social network). If you are contacting me via a social network for a job, you probably also have my email. Use it.

I'm all about helping people get jobs, however, I'm sorry, but I can't help ALL of you get jobs. I know the job market sucks, but I am so not a miracle job finder.

Just needed a little mid-day venting.

When I'm feeling down...

... I go and try on clothes. Last Monday, I was having a stressful day at work and decided I needed a lunch time escape. I walked over to the Gap to see if they have any good clearance items (no), but I decided to try on some pants instead. This is normally something that doesn't leave me feeling good. Usually its a frustrating and infuriating process. This time, I was pleasantly surprised. The pants fit well and I even had to ask for a smaller size. It was the first time that I was really able to notice any weight loss and it was a really good feeling. Yesterday I was a little slow at work so I ventured over to Marshall's to see if I could get any good deals (not really). I tried on a dress in my normal size, and it was too big. Again, a good feeling. But now, I don't want to buy anything in case it won't fit in a month. In a sense it is a good thing that I won't be buying things just to buy things, but for once I'm actually excited to try on clothes and to go shopping. I can't win here.

Hmm, I screwed up on my countdown for last post. 104 days till thesis defending, 64 days until graduation. I think the semester is also looking up as one of our teachers just realized that on top of working full time and taking her class that we are ALSO in another class this semester. She suddenly realized that her workload for us has been a bit overwhelming. Too bad we're at the 1/2 way point of the semester. The good thing is that after the week of 3/31, the semester should be pretty manageable. Or at least I am hoping that is the case.

My day compared to my husband's day.

Today, Adam and I woke up around the same time and had breakfast. We watched a podcast together then I fell asleep for a couple hours. I went for a run, and he played video games. We had lunch together. Then I went to the grocery store and he watched a documentary on the superheroes that take pictures with tourists on Hollywood blvd in LA. (He did offer to go to the store for me, but I like picking out my veggies for the week and was a little worried he would not be able to get the things I wanted). When I got home from the grocery store he was playing video games. I vacuumed and cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. Adam asked what he could do to help (tasks have yet to be completed at the time of this post, but he did score points for offering to help). Adam re-heated pizza for his dinner in about 5 minutes. I spent 40 minutes making a very tasty pasta dish (that I will eat for lunch for the next 3 days). I am now sitting in the bedroom doing homework as Adam watches another movie.

Such the live he has. I keep thinking in a couple months, I too will be able to relax and enjoy a movie on a Sunday night instead of reading or researching something. I'm getting really excited to actually get to spend time with Adam instead of just doing the things the need to get done. I just can't wait to have time again.

67 days until graduation (66 & 64 days till each class is over). 98 days until I defend my thesis. Why do I feel like I am always counting down to something. Can I just enjoy the moment? Or will I enjoy every moment in 98 days?