Nerves.

The first night of Momentum: New Dance Works is tonight (the dance performance I've been rehearsing for over the past 3 months). And I'm getting very nervous. So nervous that eating my lunch may have been a bad idea and nausea may set in very soon. I was thinking it's been roughly a decade since I performed in any capacity until a co-worker reminded about our yearly agency talent show that I have performed in twice and only of those time was required. The difference with the agency talent show is that 1). The audience is drunk. Open bar, middle of the day, kind of drunk. 2). They aren't paying to be there, in fact they're getting paid to sit back and enjoy an adult beverage with the show. This show, people are paying to see it, and the audience won't be quite as intoxicated (or so I'm guessing) as my co-workers tend to be at the talent show. Either way, I'm getting nervous. Hard to focus and relax kind of nervous. I need to get some work done, but I some how need to calm the butterflies in my stomach in order to do that. I haven't been this nervous for a long time and if I'm this nervous now, I'm concerned as to how I'll be before the show. Hopefully the disguising elements of my costume will help with that. It's easier for me to feel confident when everyone looks similar. It's a 40 minute routine and I'm hoping after the first few minutes that I'll calm down and be able to focus. In the meantime, I'm starting to wonder why I'm putting myself through this. It's weird blend of nerves and excitement and I'm hoping that excitement takes over. Soon.